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Take me to your leader!

You know, I was God once.

  • I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
  • Goodbye, friends.
  • I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped.
  • ​​​​​​​Bender, quit destroying the universe!

You wouldn't. Ask anyway!

  • Oh, how awful. Did he at least die painlessly? …To shreds, you say.
  • Well, how is his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say.
  • Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers?

  Aw, man! Couldn't you just get me the death penalty?

I videotape every customer that comes in here, so that I may blackmail them later.
I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Suddenly, I'm going to the bathroom like clockwork, every three hours. And those jerks at Social Security stopped sending me checks. Now 'I'' have to pay ''them'! THE BIG BRAIN AM WINNING AGAIN! I AM THE GREETEST! NOW I AM LEAVING EARTH, FOR NO RAISEN!
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Can we have Bender Burgers again? 

Shinier than yours, meatbag. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are. Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. In our darkest hour, we can stand erect, with proud upthrust bosoms.​​​​​​​
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Now all the planets are gonna start cracking wise about our mamas. 

WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! Check it out, y'all. Everyone who was invited is here. You've killed me! Oh, you've killed me! Stop! Don't shoot fire stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression!
I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him. The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep.​​​​​​​
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